Loving a Driven Person: 1 Couple’s Story, and a Therapist’s Insight

Ginger Curtis is the owner of the award-winning home design firm, Urbanology Designs, in Dallas-Fort Worth. Curtis knows firsthand what it means to balance a thriving career with an equal marriage. 

She and her husband, Eric, found themselves juggling two demanding professions while raising five children, each with packed schedules of their own. Since the start of their marriage, they’d faithfully protected a weekly date night—even though often, Eric would return home from 16-hour days to help Curtis with her own workload. “He never grew resentful,” Curtis tells MyLifetime. “He just kept showing up.” That support wasn’t about ignoring his own needs—it was a conscious choice they revisited through regular conversations and protected time together.

While Curtis benefited from having a highly supportive partner, she eventually found herself burning the candle at both ends. During one of her most taxing periods—in which work was booming, she’d just finished aggressive treatment for breast cancer and then navigated their daughter’s cancer diagnosis—she struggled to stay afloat. “I felt like I was ten feet underwater, trying to breathe,” she remembers. 

She asked Eric to go on a walk and mentioned that she didn’t think she could continue the way things were going. Fortunately, he pushed back with reassurance. “He told me he could see I was overwhelmed, but that I was making an emotional decision. He suggested I slow down and get some clarity before deciding anything,” Curtis shares. “That was the turning point. I realized I didn’t need to quit: I needed help.”

Instead of walking away from the business she’d spent years building, Curtis realized the problem wasn't her ambition—it was that she couldn't keep carrying it alone. She took a leap of faith, asking Eric to quit his corporate career to run the finances and operations of Curtis’s design firm. Despite the uncertainty ahead, he agreed. “It was terrifying. We were giving up salary and benefits for real risk,” she says. But soon enough, the gamble paid off. “It became one of the best decisions we ever made,” Curtis says.

Maybe your spouse is building a business, climbing the corporate ladder or pouring their nights and weekends into a passion project. Or perhaps you’re the one with the demanding career, juggling meetings, deadlines and family responsibilities without letting anything slip through the cracks.

Ambition can strengthen a relationship by creating shared goals, financial security and a sense of purpose. But when left unchecked, it can also create imbalance or emotional distance if couples don’t actively communicate and protect their time together. 

As Ginger and Eric’s story helps illustrate, therapists say ambition itself isn’t the problem. What truly matters is how couples navigate it.

Ahead, learn experts’ advice for loving a driven person.

It’s great to challenge yourself and dream bigger for your career. Yet ambition doesn’t strain relationships simply because someone works long hours. According to Nari Jeter, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Tallahassee, Fla., the biggest challenges when one or both of you are goal-oriented involve time, boundaries and communication.

While these dynamics can affect anyone, Dr. Jeter notes that women often face additional pressure, as they tend to grapple with expectations around prioritizing their relationship and home life. That could lead to guilt if she can’t make it to every soccer game or finds herself distracted in the everyday moments spent with her partner. Dr. Jeter adds that male partners may need to check their own biases and expectations about their partnership and domestic responsibilities, no matter if the woman’s the breadwinner or he’s equally career-driven.

These days, it’s also common for both partners to be equally career-oriented. That dynamic can bring its own challenges—including pressure to “have it all” and maintain the appearance that everything is running smoothly, even when both partners are stretched thin.

According to Dr. Jeter, loving a driven partner requires patience, generosity and appreciation.

Looking at your partner’s ambition through a generous lens can also help. During especially demanding seasons, remind yourself that the workload is temporary, and reconnect with the qualities you admire about their drive. As Dr. Jeter points out, it’s equally important for the less-busy partner, if that applies, to nurture their own friendships, hobbies and sense of purpose. This especially rings true if one stays home or works fewer hours than the other.

At the same time, maintaining your own identity doesn’t mean carrying an unfair share of the partnership. Healthy partnerships require reciprocity, and one person shouldn’t consistently shoulder more emotional or domestic labor simply because the other is focused on work. Every couple will divide responsibilities differently, and that’s okay—as long as both people genuinely agree on the arrangement rather than slipping into it by default. That’s one area where resentment can develop. Resentment—which colors how individuals interpret nearly everything their partner does—is an issue to keep tabs on. “If either partner starts to feel resentful, this is a warning sign to change things immediately,” Dr. Jeter says.

Dr. Jeter says couples also need clear, reasonable boundaries that protect both their relationship and the day-to-day needs of their family and home. To make the relationship a priority, she advises that couples have a regular, protected date night—even if one or both are exhausted, or it conflicts with one’s work schedule.

Even couples with the best intentions can fall into unhealthy patterns if work consistently takes priority. When one person’s career demands more time, energy or attention than the other’s, a handful of issues can arise. According to Dr. Jeter, one of the biggest red flags is when the busier partner crosses boundaries, doesn’t meet responsibilities or breaks commitments. “A partner can understand occasional work emergencies, but when these turn into the norm, the driven partner’s behaviors are communicating that the relationship has less priority,” she explains.

Moreover, the busier partner should avoid assuming that everything’s okay when their partner doesn’t bring up any concerns—even when the relationship is clearly under strain. “Sometimes the other partner remains silent because they’re conflict-avoidant or don’t want to add pressure,” Dr. Jeter explains.

The best way to keep these issues from snowballing is to check in before resentment or frustration have the chance to take root. Make it a practice to regularly discuss your feelings, as well as what’s working and what’s not. “The career-oriented partner needs to foster a culture of emotional safety so their partner feels secure in communicating needs and complaints,” Dr. Jeter adds.

Ambition doesn’t have to compete with a relationship, but it does require both partners to accept that balance won't always look equal. There may be times when one partner’s career demands attention—and time, from both partners. What matters most is that both feel valued, supported and safe enough to voice their needs along the way. The healthiest couples remain flexible, adapt to changing seasons and continue rooting for each other’s success along the way.

While balancing her own career and marriage, Curtis learned how crucial communication is—even when it’s scary and requires tough decisions. “You have to be willing to push past your comfort zone and have honest, difficult conversations,” she says. “That’s what unlocks what’s actually possible for you and your family.”